One of the biggest challenges for me is to let go and not feel like I need to save the world. Over the years I have cared for women who many have found difficult to take care of. I was usually nominated to take care of them or everyone else was "fired" and they were stuck with me. I have always been confident that I have given them the same care I would have given a family member.

But, it does begin to wear on me. I think of these women long after I have cared for them--are they in the same situation?, are their children safe?, did I do enough? did I miss some resource they should have been matched with?

I wonder about--

• the mail-order bride who spoke no English, no family, no friends and pregnant.
• the woman who had no prenatal care, gave an alias and we found out her other six babies had been taken away.
• the young pregnant runaway who was being abused by her boyfriend.
• the high-school girl who showed up fully, had her baby (no one knew), and left the baby at the hospital. She needed to get home before her parents found out
• the parents of three children who gave their baby up for adoption because they could not afford another child.
• the woman who had a psychotic break in labor.
• the mother of two who was abusing prescription narcotics and didn't want her husband to know.
• the new mother who knew that her husband was not the father of her baby.
• the woman saying she is contracting to get out of jail.
  

I think about these women. I wish I could have made their lives better. I did my best but my best is no where near enough to solve these problems. I hate that.