Be very, very careful!

Yes, the BIG BAD MIDWIFE is in town. She is here to steal your patients. The most important thing is that you don't let her talk to your patients.

We will be miserable that we don't have an extra person to answer the pager or share rounds with but we would not want to risk it. We will continue to rant to the nursing staff that we will lose 1/3 of our patients to the BIG BAD MIDWIFE.

We have heard that she actually sat on the edge of the bed and held a hand while a woman cried. It has been reported that she calls patients with their results when they are not what they expected. There have also been rumors that she cares about how things are going at home-are the kids well? everything good with your husband? are you sleeping okay? It's also been overheard that there are grumblings among the women she has seen that they think "she is nice".


Today, when I fed a pregnant woman that doesn't have enough money for food and had social services see her I was told by an Ob (not the doc I work with) that my job is to practice obstetrics and to practice gynecology and that it was not to "save" someone. He was mistaken my job is to practice midwifery and that is exactly what I did. Watch out--the BIG BAD MIDWIFE is here.

What does your mommy do?

A beautiful Labor Day weekend vacation took my family to Salem, MA. Of course, we went to the Salem Witch Museum. Lonely husband took our youngest daughter out 3 minutes into the presentation--she was petrified. He unfortunately was not privy to my children's revelations about their mother's new job.

First, we heard the history of the Salem witch trials. Afterwards, we were shuffled along to a second area were we heard about the changing perceptions of witches over time. This started with an explanation of how the first “witches” were actually midwives. My son’s jaws just dropped. They looked at me and said—“you went to school and did all that work to become a witch?” Then the younger ones said to the older one—“Did you know she was a witch, now?” I thought to myself, I hope they don’t ask lonely dad and husband that question since I can only imagine he would have something very snarky to share! Thank God, the gift shop was next and thoughts of their “witch mom” dissolved into the “can I have” and the “I need’s”.

So, I can see it now on career day—“Can I bring in my mom, she’s a witch?”

My own Shawshank

The Shawshank Redemption is a great movie. There was a character, Brooks Hatlen, who was paroled after 50 years in prison. This man has no idea what to do with his new found freedom. In fact, he finds it downright unsettling. So much so that he ends up hanging himself. He was happier in prison.

Okay, so no, I am not going to hang myself. After working obscene amounts of hours for years and then working full-time plus full-time school--oh, and the matter of the six children we have, one would think that I would be enjoying this week off. I am done with school. I am not traveling a total of 3 hours round trip to the hospital/practice that I was doing my internship with and I am no longer working as a L&D RN. All but one of the kids have started school and I am home. I am going nuts!!! I am trying to figure out what I am supposed to do with my new found freedom. Right now--I study. I highlight. I make index cards.

I feel like I went from driving in the left lane to the antique cars at an amusement park. Yes, there are things to enjoy about each--I just need to find it. I am sure that by next week I will settle in. Probably once I am comfortable with my freedom I will be thrown back onto the highway--a busy, busy office, call, finding my way as a new midwife and convincing the other OB's from different practices that really I am not there to gobble up their "piece of the pie".

Studying

I read. I highlight. I make index cards. I do this every day.

Yes, on top of being a midwife it is safe to say I have OCD and a strong leaning towards perfectionism. But, I am comfortable with that. Over the years, nurses and doctors that share those same psychiatric diagnoses, are the ones I want caring for my family and myself. I obsess over taking the certification exam. Everyone tells me--"Of course you will pass". I am thankful for their confidence just wish I could own some of it. As I continue to read, highlight, and make index cards until I sit for the exam--the man I love in the next room will remain the "lonely husband".