The Shawshank Redemption is a great movie. There was a character, Brooks Hatlen, who was paroled after 50 years in prison. This man has no idea what to do with his new found freedom. In fact, he finds it downright unsettling. So much so that he ends up hanging himself. He was happier in prison.
Okay, so no, I am not going to hang myself. After working obscene amounts of hours for years and then working full-time plus full-time school--oh, and the matter of the six children we have, one would think that I would be enjoying this week off. I am done with school. I am not traveling a total of 3 hours round trip to the hospital/practice that I was doing my internship with and I am no longer working as a L&D RN. All but one of the kids have started school and I am home. I am going nuts!!! I am trying to figure out what I am supposed to do with my new found freedom. Right now--I study. I highlight. I make index cards.
I feel like I went from driving in the left lane to the antique cars at an amusement park. Yes, there are things to enjoy about each--I just need to find it. I am sure that by next week I will settle in. Probably once I am comfortable with my freedom I will be thrown back onto the highway--a busy, busy office, call, finding my way as a new midwife and convincing the other OB's from different practices that really I am not there to gobble up their "piece of the pie".
I am a new CNM(Previous life = labor and delivery RN for 17 years. I will be joining a practice where I will be the only midwife. I will also be the only midwife at the hospital where I will be with birthing women.--Yes, I am the Lonely Midwife. I live with lonely husband and our six neglected children. This blog is meant to chronicle my struggles and triumphs as I try to offer midwifery care to women in a medical environment. Nothing on this blog should be construed as medical advice. Please see your midwife. Any story here has been somewhat changed to protect identity and not violate any federal laws--just what I don't need.