This is it!!!

Tomorrow is the day. I take my exam tomorrow morning. I have been wanting to "hurl", as my kids would say, for two days now. I have to pass. I have no choice. I have signed a contract with the practice, she ordered business cards. She called yesterday to ask about what alphabet soup I wanted behind my name for signage in the lobby of the two office buildings--yes, I think I can taste it in my throat now, ewww!. But, there's no pressure or anything. Oh, the write up in the hospital advertisement/newsletter they send to EVERY surrounding town that has already been printed, an article about how they are moving up in the world and now have a nurse midwife, that is waiting to be mailed--no pressure.

The funny thing is I kept saying along the way to everyone--can we not do any of this until I take the exam and know if I have even passed??!! No one ever listens to me. So, I guess I better pass.

Oh, here comes another wave of nausea---ugh!!

Jumping the bookshelves

Varney, Creasy, Gabbe, Sperrof, Cunningham(William's), Oxorn, Guyton, Bates and Evanovich

Yes, I have jumped off of one of my bookshelves to another. Indulgent, especially since for me Evanovich is just plain old "book candy". Yes, I do read books that have literary worth but after living with and sleeping with some of the above-mentioned, I needed a separation. Janet Evanovich is the author of a series that follows Stephanie Plum, a bounty hunter in Trenton, NJ. I am reading book 14 but I just checked and 15 is out, too. It is the epitome of summer reading. I know it's September but I have missed three summers. I need to catch up. Plus, my brain is deep-fried and I needed something quick and easy. It's my guilty literature pleasure.

It's kind of like at night, on those rare occasions when I get to sit in front of the television. Lonely husband has on the History channel, NatGeo, Discovery, etc. Don't get me wrong, I love those channels. But, when your head is gone from thinking all day there is nothing like an hour of brainlessness (probably not a real word but it gets used here)--reruns of Cops or VH1's Countdown of Top 80's Hair Bands or some such nonsense. He looks at me like I have lost it. In fact, I think many days he may be right.

Back to the grind of studying. I am waiting not so patiently for my letter of eligibility to be sent to the board for me to sit for my exam. It should have been there by now. It should have been sent by now. But, someone made an executive decision to hold the letter until a few students who were unable to complete their course work on time finished. ARGGHHH! That is all I will say about that. It is "supposed" to be sent today. One will see. Off I go headed back to the tombs of textbooks. Every now and then I think I will peak out to see what trouble Stephanie Plum is stirring up.

Practice what you preach

For years, in various roles, I have counseled women on various things. My top five are—

• Drink water-not juice, not soda, not water with artificially sweetened powder thrown it. Drink more than you possibly think you could if you are pregnant.

• Exercise—not I walk the mall, I vacuum the house and chase after kids all day. I am talking about the kind of exercise where you really sweat and your heart rate goes up. And, once you get in the habit you will add weight-bearing on your own because you will feel good and want to!

• “Diets” are evil! They don’t work. Yes, I know your sister lost 80 lbs on the hot dog diet but now she is 100lb heavier since she was unable to stay on the stupid hot dog diet. Eat fruits and vegetables, whole grains, lean meats. Eat a protein with your carb. Watch your sugar intake and be mindful of portions. If it is deep-fried—stay away.

• Prevention—Big topic, I know, but the main points usually are—wear your seat belt. Wear sunscreen. Know your cholesterol. Know your blood pressure. Know your medications. Stop smoking. Manage your diabetes. Decrease or cease your alcohol intake. Stop using illegal drugs. Separate from the abusive partner/husband . . .

• Be kind to yourself—And this is always the hardest one. We beat ourselves up for our failings. We see ourselves somehow responsible for every trouble of our husbands/partners, children, parents, siblings, friends, neighbors, co-workers, and anyone else we can rescue. We often own problems that are not in any way ours or those we have zero power to effect any change. This is stress management, time management, life management, and spiritual management.

So about 2 years ago, I was pretty good at about all of the above and felt absolutely great. Then along came the last year of school. A horrid commute was made that much easier with a latte. A vanilla frosted donut helped me feel better about leaving the hospital after 20+ hours and missing another bedtime. If it was a really bad day—McDonald’s fries were in order. I really should have needed to show an ID for the amount of caffeine I consumed. If not at the hospital or office, I sat with books. I went to sleep with books. The only variation my heart rate saw were the occasional runs of PVC’s from being overtired paired with too much coffee. I personally owned every ounce of teen angst that lived in my house.

DONE! I hopped back on the elliptical today. Healthy eating is back. Heading to restorative yoga tomorrow night. I practiced breathing when talking with neglected teen daughter. Although, thankful for the opportunity to return to school and the support from lonely husband and neglected children, I wasn’t able to be healthy. There are two mountains—the first is to start and the second is to keep going. Hopefully, I can camp for a while on the second mountain.